"I really didn't feel that bad. I mean I really didn't feel like this was the end of the world. And I came to the understanding that if I was going to die then that's okay too. I didn't put any pressure on myself or did I give anymore weight to living or dying. It's all one and the same, you're going to live and to die. But I said it's not up to me. What's up to me is today to live and be happy and do what I want to do today. If I want to cry today, I can cry today. I never wanted to cry. I always wanted to laugh. I think my chances were better at laughing so I laughed through my whole treatment of chemotherapy and everybody around me completely busted up with me."